The story I find myself in....

Just know realized it has been over 10 months since I have blogged anything.  Reading my last blog, I had just made some decisions that I thought were going to lead to new and exciting things. I would love to be able to say that I was at a place that was bringing me joy and life.

I sit here remembering the days when i had dreams of getting married and having kids. Just the other day my family was at the house talking about more grandkids, then the subject of great grandkids came up. The realization has hit me that my nieces and nephews are at a point where in a few years...they may be having kids of their own. Will I ever have my own kids or find a wife? Quite honestly, I don't know. I love being free and able to do as I please. The idea of having a companion sounds great...but do i need it?? My answer is realistically...in my current situation....No. However, if I ever (and at this point, this is a million miles away) continue on with ministry, I will need one. Which brings me to this...I miss the days where ministry was a passion. I haven't felt a great deal of passion for it in a long time. My greatest times were serving in a youth group or a mission's trip. Seems like the last couple of years though, I've been really struggling. It's been 10 months since I stepped down from youth ministry. I decided to take this whole year off. Not sure I want to go back. My only passions right now are politics and hunting. The dreams I had are fading in my heart and it's hard to see where I'm going.

Over the last year I've been trying to find my place in a church. It seems as if my church family is the people I call my friends, regardless of where I go to church. I may go to a church....but not really know people there. I started attending a church which i really like (Richwoods Christian Church East Campus), and I hope maybe I can connect with people. We'll see what happens. I am thankful for my friends that I have been reconnecting with.
Well, that is it for now....I'm the shell of the man I use to be. We'll see what happens. Until then...

2012: A chapter in my life has ended, and a new one is beginning....

Over the last few months, I've been talking alot about change and new things happening. For the last 4 years, I've been working with Youth United at Riverside Community Church. I have been there through some really awesome Youth Pastors..(Aaron Escamilla, Dave Jane, Corey Blair and Joe Greenwald.) The last few months, and probably even year, I have been unsettled in where I am at in life. Seems like I'm always talking about wanting to move or change things. I'm starting to realize that for change to happen, you need to let go of things and move forward. I know there are things God wishes to work on in my life in preparation for the future. In December, I took the 3 weeks that we didn't have Wednesday night YU, and decided to really seek God about the future and what was next. There have been numerous things just the last 3 weeks that have confirmed for me that it is time to change..time to get ready for the next chapter in my life. So, today, I went in and talked to Pastor Joe and shared with him where I'm at. I have decided that it is time for this chapter of my story at Youth United to come to an end. I really do appreciate all the friends I have made at YU and the leaders I have met. Even though alot of times I was behind the scenes running lights or sound...I enjoyed being there and being apart of a great youth ministry. I am leaving with Pastor Joe's blessing. I pray that God will increase the ministry and his hands will be on Joe and Elizabeth as they lead Youth United into the next era. Hang on kids....it's going to get crazy! If I could say anything to the youth, it would be that you all have potential and you rock! Joe needs you to step up and start owning your youth group. This is your youth group...take it and run with it. Become the Church that God has in mind and watch him do things through you that you wont believe. Most of all...Love God with all your heart and Love each other as yourself. Go big Youth United..or go home! I believe in you..I wanna hear stories. May God be with all of you and may his face shine upon you. It has truly been an honor serving you.
a servant of Christ,
Chris